Friday, January 19, 2007

Knot even wrong

Another day, another new skill.

This evening at bedtime, Bud put on his jammies all by himself (and only the bottoms were on backwards), then dashed back into his room to put on his bathrobe. He came back out with the bathrobe on and his hands fumbling with its belt.

"How I tie it?" he asked.

"Come here and I'll show you," I said.

"I can do it," he said.

"I won't do it for you, Bud," I said. "I'll just show you how to do it."

"No," he said. "I'll do it." He went back into his room and closed the door. My husband and I started chatting in the hallway, and as time passed I assumed that Bud had gotten distracted and was in his room playing. Of course, I have learned my lesson about barging in on him when his door is closed, so I put my ear to the door and heard his sing-song voice in what I guessed was a quote from a video:

"Over... under... and make a loop!"

"Over... under... and make a loop!"

"Over... under... and make a loop!"

His voice was even and calm, but he was clearly focused on the task at hand. I backed away slowly and whispered to my husband to let him know what was going on. We sat patiently as the minutes ticked by. We'd never tried to teach Bud how to tie a knot. This was brand new territory for him. I hoped he wouldn't get too frustrated. I hoped he wouldn't be too disappointed.

Then the bedroom door burst open and Bud flew out, his mouth in a great big grin and his belt in a great big knot. A raucous celebration ensued.

He did it.

Not as young as some other children.

Not as quickly as many other children.

Not the same way as most other children.

He did it in his own time, at his own pace, by capitalizing on his own strengths.

And would I have it any other way?

Knot a chance.

14 comments:

Laura said...

Great job, Bud! Today I was at Target, and Hutton, my 5 1/2 yo with ASD wanted to go to the bathroom and ran ahead into the men's room so I couldn't follow. I was waiting outside when a man came out and told me there was no one else in there, so I ducked my head in. Hutton was in a stall. I ducked out. I ducked in again a minute later. Still in the stall, but moving about in a way that meant he was getting his pants pulled up. Another minute, he was by the sink. Another man went in. He came out, followed by Hutton. I asked Hutton if he'd washed his hands, and the man in front of him said, "Oh yeah, he washed his hands!" Hutton was very proud of himself having gone in the "boy's bathroom" by himself. Of course, I was nervous and would prefer the lady's room, but I was impressed, too!

MOM-NOS said...

Laura, that's fantastic! Public bathrooms are a growing area of concern for me. Bud isn't self-sufficient in the bathroom, so I can't send him into the men's room alone. But he's getting to be a big boy, and I often wonder how long I'll be able to bring him in to the women's room with me without anyone making a snide coment. I always try to scout out places that have "family" facilities. Actually, Target is one of my favorites, because most of them have a single-use restroom near the pharmacy. It's actually surprising to me that in the age of ADA there aren't more facilities like that available.

knittingwoman said...

Public bathrooms are a big concern for all moms of boys. I have 4 boys all NT who are now teens and older and public bathrooms were scary. I appreciate the fact that my child who is not NT (she has NLD) is the same sex as me. At 10 she still can't always manage toiletting by herself and she looks a lot older than she is. (i deleted and reposted my comment in order to fix a typo).

MileMasterSarah said...

Awesome,
I love that
“in his own time, at his own pace, by capitalizing on his own strengths..”
such a beautiful thing.

MileMasterSarah said...

I wanted to comment on the comments about public restrooms. My son is sufficient in the restroom, but literally gets “lost” in a bathroom by himself. He will go in and never come back out. Even at school he is not allowed to go to the restroom alone because of this, and is only allowed to use the small restroom in the classroom, instead of the large boys bathroom down the hall. I ALWAYS take him with me into the women’s. My son is six, still okay to bring him in with me, but I too wonder what will happen when he is older if he still can’t be trusted alone in the bathroom?

Daisy said...

Congratulations to Bud on his accomplishment!
Congrats to you and Dad-nos for allowing him to reach it independently!

mcewen said...

Glad I'm not the only listening at doors, you've reduced my guilt quotient for the day no end!
Cheers

Mom without a manual said...

Bud is getting so independent! That is so awesome!

Regarding the bathrooms we have been trying to address this issue as well.

However, it has brought about a new challenge for us. First of all, I should explain that JP has always been obsessed with letters. And now thanks to a leapfrog video he has become obsessed with sounding out words and is even reading.

I posted to my blog in December about our newest bathroom obstacle. Here is the short version: men's restrooms tend to have more "wall deco" than womens and JP discovered the art of reading the walls.

What a great way for him to get his education!

kyra said...

WOO HOOO! i am racously celebrating over here with you!!!! way to go, bud!!

for what it's worth said...

Isn't that the way we should all be able to do things...on our own time, our own skill, our own way.....perfect!
Bathrooms are an issue with any child I think. Add sensory issues on top of the security issues and it is definitely a problem. We petitioned our local malls to install the "family" washrooms in each centre. Just safer all the way around.

kristina said...

Knot something Charlie has down yet----hooray for Bud! What an inspiring story! (Knot kidding.)

lizziehoop said...

Know what? My NT (typical? - not!)DD 14 can't tie a knot to save her life! She is the unfortunate right-handed product of a left-handed family (myself, DH and DS 9 are all lefties). Doesn't make a bit of difference - she can tie a shoe - though how this is accomplished and how we undo it is unknown - no one notices. My DS ASD 9 has never even attempted to tie anything and has no desire too just yet. Can't wait until he shows an interesst - he can show his sister up for once!
I don't have to worry about public bathroom issues yet. My son will not set foot in one. They are too big, too echoy and too dirty. He won't even go in the big ones at school (he uses a small staff bathroom). He doesn't even like being outside the house so it is really a non issue at this point.

Liz
This de-lurking thing is kind of cool!

MOM-NOS said...

Mom without a manual - That never even occured to me! Just imagine the things Bud would start Googling if I was sending him into the men's room!

For what it's worth, did you get a good response to your petitions?

Liz, this de-lurking thing IS cool! Glad it wasn't one-time-only. Bud wouldn't use public restrooms for years, but during that time he was in diapers or pull-ups during the day, so it wasn't that big an issue. We just took care of things in the car.

for what it's worth said...

Mom NOS,
We did get good reactions overall. Each mall has their own management/ownership and we had to address each one. They were receptive to us especially when we noted that with these facilities, families would be more likely to come and spend their money in a mall that has proper facilities. A win-win situation.
Good luck!